from Some Reflections upon Marriage
by Mary Astell

            If marriage be such a blessed state, how comes it, may you say, that there are so few happy marriages? Now in answer to this, it is not to be wondered that so few succeed; we should rather be surprised to find so many do, considering how imprudently men engage, the motives they act by, and the very strange conduct they observe throughout.

            For pray, what do men propose to themselves in marriage? What qualifications do they look after in a spouse? What will she bring? is the first enquiry: How many acres? Or how much ready coin? Not that this is altogether an unnecessary question, for marriage without a competency, that is, not only a bare subsistence, but even a handsome and plentiful provision, according to the quality and circumstances of the parties, is no very comfortable condition. They who marry for love, as they call it, find time enough to repent their rash folly, and are not long in being convinced, that whatever fine speeches might be made in the heat of passion, there could be no real kindness between those who can agree to make each other miserable. But though an estate is to be considered, it should not be the main , much less the only consideration; for happiness does not depend on wealth.

            But do the women never choose amiss? Are the men only in fault? That is not pretended; for he who will be just, must be forced to acknowledge, that neither sex are always in the right. A woman, indeed, can't properly be said to choose; all that is allowed her, is to refuse or accept what is offered. And when we have made such reasonable allowances as are due to the sex, perhaps they may not appear so much in fault as one would at first imagine, and a generous spirit will find more occasion to pity than to reprove. But sure I must transgress—it must not be supposed that the ladies can do amiss! He is but an ill-bred fellow who pretends that they need amendment! They are, no doubt on't, always in the right, and most of all when they take pity on distressed lovers! Whatever they say carries an authority that no reason can resist, and all that they do must needs be exemplary! This is the modish language, nor is there a man of honor amongst the whole tribe, that would not venture his life, nay, and his salvation too, in their defense, if any, but himself attempts to injure them. But I must ask pardon if I can't come up to these heights, nor flatter them with the having no faults, which is only a malicious way of continuing and increasing their mistakes.

            But, alas! what poor woman is ever taught that she should have a higher design than to get her a husband? Heaven will fall in of course; and if she makes but an obedient and dutiful wife, she cannot miss of it. A husband indeed is thought by both sexes so very valuable, that scarce a man who can keep himself clean and make a bow, but thinks he is good enough to pretend to any woman; no matter for the difference of birth or fortune, a husband is such a wonder-working name as to make an equality, or something more, whenever it is obtained.

            To wind up this matter: If a woman were duly principled, and taught to know the world, especially the true sentiments that men have of her, and the traps they lay for her under so many gilded compliments, and such a seemingly great respect, that disgrace would be prevented which is brought upon too many families; women would marry more discreetly, and demean themselves better in a married state, than some people say they do.

1.	PROBLEM AND SOLUTION What problem does the author plan to address in this essay? Who does she blame for the problem?
2.	COMPREHENSION What point is the author making in this sentence?
3.	QUESTION Does the author favor marrying for money or for love?
4.	QUESTION Who has more control in choosing a marriage partner, a man or a woman?
5.	SUMMARIZE What points about women and marriage is the author making in this paragraph?
6.	AUTHOR'S BELIEFS Does the author agree with what women are taught about marriage?
7.	COMPREHENSION Why does the author believe that men think that they can propose to any woman—even one of a much higher social class?
8.	PROBLEM AND SOLUTION What solution does the author propose for the problem she posed at the beginning of the essay?